Friendly Advice
Published in the Heckler column, Sydney Morning Herald , 27th January 2005 Stop reading this article now! Turn immediately to another section of the paper or click on the nearest hyperlink. I have no idea what I am talking about. I have been told this since the age of five and I recommend that you cease reading this column immediately. For those of you who have been foolish enough to ignore my warning, let me explain. “Maaaate, you have noooo idea…” The phrase is with me still. As a teenager, as soon as I showed the any hint of an interest in the opposite sex, I was promptly told by anyone who was more that a couple of years older than me that I had “noooo idea” what I was in for. “Girls, they’re a different species, nothing like us. Forget it. It’s a minefield. They’ll have you for breakfast, gobble you up, make mincemeat of you and for dessert, spit you out in little pieces.” Strangely enough, no doubt by sheer good fortune, I managed to make the acquaintance of a number of wonderfu